It's kind of hard to articulate because I have really never felt depression or anxiety like this before coming to SC. Above all, I definitely feel like I sacrificed more than I gained here. I had inconsistency during 100% of my time here, especially when first starting out; and despite dealing with turnover at a level higher than me on one team, I genuinely tried my best. Tasked with not only my job, but the burden of bearing the work of my teammates who had routinely quit, it was impossible not to feel like I had drowned and was hallucinating in some kind of unimaginable hell. During desperate times, I asked leadership for help that was never delivered, which caused mistakes that were likely to be made under this pressure. I was only taken seriously and had repercussions when the account was able to be staffed to a capacity where my departure would not have impacted the client.
SocialCode has developed this weird predatory way of recruiting fresh college grads with the promise to give them experience; and despite suffering trauma upon working here, we still convince ourselves this experience is industry standard, or worth it. The company thrives on this millennial desperation, which really does alter your sense of reality and self-worth. When there are people close to you (your coworkers who you’ve bonded with from suffering and shared trauma), it's easy to think this is normal. IT’S REALLY NOT, and it's so sad that employees who set the bar low are praised for meeting it--if you make the mistake of setting it high, they will continue to add to your plate and critique you for a slip up.
It’s important to remember that titles at SC mean little to the overall org, and anyone who is able to withstand this living hell that you didn’t think existed despite NYT articles claiming so, is sure to be promoted as things seriously thin out at the level of anyone who has been at the company for 1-2.5 years.
Leadership, from managers to the CEO, praise teams in company-wide meetings for a job well done, which I've always found to be an interesting move because anyone in the office working with these people would know that they would surely have traded a “shoutout” from their company's CEO with an hour back of their weekends, or even an hour of stress-free sleep, which you are sure not to find here. Despite all-nighters in college, this has truly been the worst most stressful, corrosive, depressing time of my life because it’s like an all-nighter, but it never ends.
TLDR summarized by a direct quote from Beyonce herself: I definitely pushed myself further than I knew I could. And I learned a very valuable lesson––I will never, never push myself that far again.